Last night I saw this Chinese movie “The bright summer day”. It is about street gangs in Taiwan among Chinese community. I also happens to be reading about ancient Greek philosophy, especially of Plato and Socrates. The combination of above two led to following dream last night.
In the dream, I was a Chinese boy. Looking outside via translucent window curtain and watching arrival of enemy gang members to attack our hideout. We were few and not much armed. Some said to put a fight and some suggest to run away. At the end, everybody made their own mind. I decided to run away. I went out form back door and start walking away swiftly. Suddenly, an enemy gang boy appeared at the end of the street. He was carrying very thick mace. I froze!
First thought, “Death!”
Second thought, “Run! No! No! He will definitely hunt me.”
Next thought, “Fight! No! No! He is stronger!”
“Be brave! Face it! This is life! Death is no end! Remember last words of Socrates! Fight with honor. Gods would like it. You will live in company of Gods in rest of eternity.”
“Oh no! Philosophy is bullshit. It fills your head with crap. There is nothing after death. What is the point of showing courage? No one would ever even know it to appreciate and I would not live long to honor it myself.”
“What is better, fight for honor or just look for survival?”
The dream sequence suddenly transmuted into a scene of movie “Schindler’s List” and I became a Jewish boy. There, survival is the key. You don’t seek honor in concentration camp. You only want to see the next sunrise. You lick shit. You lick dick. Whatever! You survive. Honor can wait.
Now! A Nazi jailer was aiming his sniper at me from a high balcony and I was swiftly walking away on ground to avoid his bullets.
“Be coward! Walk! Quick! Run! Live life of a rat! But, SURVIVE!”
“Live on! I am here because my ancestors survived. They were the victors of battles or survivors of loosing battles. Survival is the essence of an animal.”
The dream again transmuted into a scene of movie “Gandhi” and I was Gandhi. I was born in British India and got higher education in London. I was respected in London as a human and learned to be a loyal British subject.
Now! I was being pushed out of 1st class train compartment in South Africa and thrown into a railway platform.
“Be brave! Fight! It is pure humiliation! Seek HONOR!”
“Human dignity is that defines being human. They can not treat me like dogs. I am no savage. They can take away my life but they can not get my submission.”
And, dream dissolved into deep sleep.